It’s apparent within about ten minutes of meeting me that I’ve either just chugged an enormous coffee or I have an anxiety disorder.
Often, it’s both.
Though I consistently see a psychologist, doctor, and take medication, I still emit a very frantic and nervous energy that never seems to calm down.
I jog, journal, yoga, mediate, use lavender oil, take epsom salt baths, and have some wonderful people around me – but my usual arsenal of self-care skills haven’t been enough as of late.
Feeling tense, shaky, and constantly on the verge of tears (that never turned into a therapeutic cry despite my best efforts), I turned to a friend who I knew had studied holistic coaching and was now taking clients – Awakened with Alana.
Alana sat with me over video call and asked about how I’d been feeling lately and what I felt needed to change.
I told her about feelings of overwhelm, uselessness, rejection, loneliness, body image… and she listened intently before asking, “When was the first time you ever remember feeling this way?”
Every muscle in my body suddenly tensed up as I told her about the childhood bullying, parental conflict, and eating disorder that shaped my childhood.
She took notes and sat silent for a minute before noting “What stands out is that you felt unwanted and unnoticed.”
My eyes welled and every muscle in my body tensed as I was compelled to go deeper – I told her how frustrated I was that I couldn’t do anything right and shared more with her than I had my own journal.
She nodded empathetically and listened as I unloaded until I felt called to apologise to her which she quickly insisted was unnecessary – “This is a shame, blame, and apology free zone. None of that exists here,” she assured me.
After assessing what was bothering me and where my energy was at, she suggested she conduct a guided meditation with me and my inner child.
Alana spoke me through breathing exercises and guided me into a state of deep meditation and I surprised myself as I began to really cry.
After weeks of trying Grey’s Anatomy and sad Spotify playlists, I actually felt the emotional release I’d been seeking.
I quietly wiped away tears as I told Alana what I had seen and felt in my meditation, and she held the space for me to quietly break down in her gentle and safe presence.
It was clear that despite ticking every self-care box, I’m still holding onto a lot of pain that I didn’t realise was still present until Alana brought it to light.
To wrap up the session, Alana pulled an Oracle Card for me and talked me through what it might hold for my future or what it might be able to teach me.
I’ll not share it here for fear of jinxing any potential good luck it might bring, but she did guide me through a short prayer afterwards to put it out into the universe that I was ready for healing.
Overall, I felt a million times better following the session.
Not only did it bring weeks of compounding nervous energy to the point of release, but she sent me some resources surrounding the Oracle card she pulled and key takeaways of how I can deeper address what’s bothering me, and even referred me to her Kinesiologist.
For hours after the energy healing I continued to tear up and softly shake. This didn’t bother me and actually helped a lot because I was able to get past the worst of it and start fresh the next day.
Overall, it was an awesome experience I’d do again in a heartbeat.
You can find Awakened with Alana’s page here for more information.
this is such a powerful post! tysm for sharing, it can’t have been easy! I’m currently in cognitive behavioural therapy to address my anxiety, so this was so good to read (:
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