Are you a “wellness hoe”?

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When I stumbled upon this Buzzfeed Quiz, I felt equal parts seen and attacked by the term “Wellness Hoe”. The term even inspired me to create a Pinterest board in its honour.

The phrase comes from this Instagram account, which as you can see is the epitome of “I have my shit together” chic. The definition is provided as “Someone with an adaptogen collection and an astrological explanation for everything.”

The quiz includes tell-tale signs such as:

  • being really into the moon
  • owning more expensive yoga pants than jeans
  • knowing your moon and rising signs
  • being vegan-ish
  • being SUPER CHILL but HATING disruptions to your routine
  • having a tasteful tiny tattoo
  • loving farmers markets and Amazon Prime
  • being a little worried about the bees

I feel like this quiz and original Instagram account captures the cultural zeitgist of our increasing emphasis on wellness and self-care.

It’s fair to say that in the last five years, my generations lives have become busier and more stressful than ever. We’re constantly warned of an impending recession, juggling internships upon degrees upon part-time work, the planet is dying, and the jobs we dreamt of as kids are increasingly obsolete.

We’re also accessible 24/7 to our friends, parents, employers, professors, and the news cycle. It’s hard to reset to neutral when we have so much stimulation and we’re constantly reminded of the pressures of our environment.

That’s why keeping a few succulents alive or having a rigorous yoga routine is so appealing.

When so much seems hopeless and unfair about our future, it’s kind of the least we can do to spend hours googling astrology to give us the smallest bit of optimism. Are we just re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic? My tarot says there’s a strong possibility.

Of course, the healthism associated with wellness is a very real aspect. It’s not at all uncommon to feel like the wellness world is a constant game of one-upping and being the healthiest person equates to being the most morally superior.

It’s a very thin line between wellness as an identity, a hobby, a health choice, and a competition.

Nevertheless, I’ll continue to be proud of my aloe vera, shop for lavender hued activewear, and share my latest vitamin recommendations with my friends. After all, according to Buzzfeed, I am 87% Wellness Hoe.

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