When did wellness get so exhausting?

Would you like to read my to-do list from today?

• 2L of water
• Vitamins (Zinc, Vitamin C, Fish Oil, Probiotics, and Vitamin B)
• 45 minute workout
• Cup of green tea for antioxidants
• An anti-inflammatory turmeric latte
• Morning meditation
• Evening meditation
• Journalling
• Read book (at least 20 pages)
• Dry brush my body
• Magnesium spray (it’s meant to help you relax)
• Full body stretch
• Remember to turn on my sleep tracker and lavender diffuser to relax!! and!!! rest!!

To complain about having the time and opportunity to take care of oneself would be insane, but I find myself anxious and panicked unless every last one has been ticked off before I go to bed.

I’m lucky enough to have a workplace that explores and advocates for putting your health first, but hanging around the water cooler I find myself questioned…

“Have you tried intermittent fasting? You really should. And what about the miracle morning routine? It’s just a series of simple steps to start your day off right. Are you taking iron supplements? Or getting vitamin infusions?”

I flick on my favourite alternative health podcast, and remind myself I don’t do tarot readings often enough to justify the intricately painted deck of tarot cards I own.

Lymphatic massages changed this bloggers life, should I be doing that?

And I really should try acupuncture for my PCOS and take the time to meal prep some anti-inflammatory, gluten, dairy and soy-free meals… although I’d need to get BPA free containers to store them in because I’m meant to be staying away from endocrine disruptors.

Each wellness hack boasts a seemingly endless list of benefits that promise to shrink me to a size 8, clear my skin, and put me in a higher tax bracket, if only I cared enough about my health to make the time

When did my relationship with health and wellness become so fraught with shoulds?

My list started well intentioned.

After being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, I was told I needed to balance my hormones through my diet, exercise, and managing stress levels.

And so I did my research, read medical journals on what was happening within my body and what I could do to reclaim myself from the bloated, acneic monster I felt like.

A bit of Zinc to clear the skin, no dairy because that’s full of hormones, and yoga for managing cortisol – but do it a few times a week otherwise you won’t be calm enough. 

An anxious, Type-A personality paired with an endless supply of helpful suggestions is bound to end in fixation.

The same energy that fuelled my obsession with my grades, weight, dancing, and workaholism, now implores me to tick every last box on my list.

When I do, I feel a rush of pride and accomplishment… then sit on my bed in my room alone and wonder, “now what?”

A wry podcast guests jokes about her relationship with “the artist formerly known as wellness,” which resonates.

I guess like all other relationships in my twenties, you could say “it’s complicated.”